








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
906 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,963 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 824 | 21% |
| Smokes | 938 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1290 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 911 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $383,753 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joybozz | 56% | 18 |
| #2 | BIG XANTARES | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | [GR-3] | Osman2000 | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Ch0Ps | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | Shanks | 47% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | [GR-3] | Osman2000 | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Ch0Ps | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | Shanks | 47% | 88 |
| #6 | iroh | 42% | 57 |
| #7 | PinkFluffyUnicorn | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shanks | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | iroh | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | joybozz | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Ch0Ps | 1 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | BIG XANTARES | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shanks | 271 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | Ch0Ps | 67 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #3 | [GR-3] | Osman2000 | 45 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | PinkFluffyUnicorn | 38 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #5 | iroh | 37 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BIG XANTARES | +3.31 | 75 | 69 |
| #2 | Ch0Ps | +1.40 | 82 | 58 |
| #3 | iroh | +0.89 | 75 | 56 |
| #4 | joybozz | +0.57 | 54 | 63 |
| #5 | Shanks | +0.15 | 70 | 69 |





