








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1635 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 293 matches | ||
| Premier | 233 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6540 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,371 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6809 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5166 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6589 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3807 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,412,666 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1038 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | luccho | 57% | 143 |
| #6 | vF Tyson | 56% | 121 |
| #7 | Paria | 53% | 83 |
| #8 | eDaymos | 52% | 483 |
| #9 | V A L X X | 51% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eDaymos | 1993 | 0.19 | 39 min |
| #2 | V A L X X | 551 | 0.35 | 13 min |
| #3 | vF Tyson | 485 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #4 | jiji; | 398 | 0.25 | 12 min |
| #5 | luccho | 295 | 0.10 | 5 min |





