








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Esplay | 12 matches | 1,470 | |
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
411 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,859 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 656 | 35% |
| Smokes | 483 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 343 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 377 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $219,690 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | henkaton | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | saml | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | munchicharrónes🍙 | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | holykyckling | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | DessyWessy | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | namet | 65 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #2 | holykyckling | 24 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #3 | munchicharrónes🍙 | 18 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | DessyWessy | 10 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | saml | 9 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DessyWessy | +4.88 | 91 | 55 |
| #2 | holykyckling | +4.38 | 90 | 46 |
| #3 | henkaton | +2.52 | 71 | 65 |
| #4 | saml | +2.45 | 82 | 66 |
| #5 | namet | +2.28 | 67 | 56 |





