








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 513 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2391 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,778 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1947 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2215 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1642 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1974 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,029,298 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | OCYAN | 50% | 26 |
| #8 | OneBullet_Joe | 50% | 32 |
| #9 | Ashy111g | 50% | 44 |
| #10 | Jim2k | 39% | 31 |
| #11 | Jamal | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jim2k | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Fanatic | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | AicoN | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | OCYAN | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fanatic | 338 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | OCYAN | 123 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | Pinking | 89 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Ashy111g | 86 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Jamal | 79 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jim2k | +2.86 | 86 | 68 |
| #2 | Stangbai Khadi | +1.89 | 63 | 66 |
| #3 | Pinking | +0.58 | 64 | 67 |
| #4 | OneBullet_Joe | -0.01 | 78 | 72 |
| #5 | Fanatic | -0.11 | 67 | 73 |





