








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 498 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 124 matches | ||
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 141 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2694 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,857 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2476 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2113 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2500 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2768 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,135,754 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pinking | 60% | 108 |
| #2 | Fanatic | 57% | 137 |
| #3 | Stangbai Khadi | 53% | 47 |
| #4 | Ashy111g | 51% | 49 |
| #5 | OCYAN | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Fanatic | 57% | 137 |
| #3 | Stangbai Khadi | 53% | 47 |
| #4 | Ashy111g | 51% | 49 |
| #5 | OCYAN | 44% | 32 |
| #6 | Buzzg0d | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pinking | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Fanatic | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fanatic | 397 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | Pinking | 350 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | OCYAN | 161 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #4 | Stangbai Khadi | 140 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | Ashy111g | 102 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Buzzg0d | +2.55 | 85 | 76 |
| #2 | Pinking | +0.94 | 66 | 65 |
| #3 | Stangbai Khadi | +0.92 | 56 | 71 |
| #4 | AicoN | +0.86 | 60 | 71 |
| #5 | Fanatic | +0.21 | 66 | 76 |





