










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 246 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1086 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,405 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1227 | 36% |
| Smokes | 908 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 473 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 797 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $676,512 of utility $240 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sir Bepis | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | JakeTheSnake | 60% | 43 |
| #3 | Yankee doodl3 | 57% | 54 |
| #4 | Zerk | 56% | 59 |
| #5 | holycow | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Daybreak | 44% | 9 |
| #7 | Antic | 44% | 16 |
| #8 | Moopz | 43% | 14 |
| #9 | karlis.namejs | 38% | 13 |
| #10 | CraMdeN | 22% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CraMdeN | 3 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Moopz | 3 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | Sir Bepis | 2 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | holycow | 2 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | Yankee doodl3 | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zerk | 386 | 0.31 | 9 min |
| #2 | JakeTheSnake | 154 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | Yankee doodl3 | 122 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | holycow | 85 | 0.32 | 2 min |
| #5 | Antic | 75 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daybreak | +2.44 | 41 | 42 |
| #2 | Sir Bepis | +1.86 | 63 | 51 |
| #3 | Antic | +1.14 | 68 | 77 |
| #4 | Yankee doodl3 | +0.76 | 55 | 47 |
| #5 | Zerk | +0.08 | 43 | 63 |





