








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 382 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1065 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,442 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1061 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1451 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1067 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 863 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $770,000 of utility $235 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | majσR | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | JakeTheSnake | 70% | 23 |
| #3 | Yankee doodl3 | 65% | 23 |
| #4 | Zerk | 65% | 20 |
| #5 | Tony Stromboli | 57% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tony Stromboli | 8 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | caserin | 6 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tony Stromboli | 237 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | Zerk | 119 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #3 | JakeTheSnake | 85 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | caserin | 76 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Yankee doodl3 | 57 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | majσR | +1.98 | 78 | 62 |
| #2 | Yankee doodl3 | +1.29 | 57 | 41 |
| #3 | caserin | +1.01 | 62 | 51 |
| #4 | Zerk | +0.95 | 43 | 68 |
| #5 | Sir Bepis | +0.64 | 53 | 59 |





