








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 775 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Wingman | 112 matches | ||
| Faceit | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




105 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6947 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,427 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3377 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3982 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4795 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5273 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $893,754 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1256 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bonk999 | 72% | 64 |
| #2 | [AiBot] Branch3s | 70% | 53 |
| #3 | [AiBot] Spellzzz | 69% | 115 |
| #4 | Methinane (BrokeSpaceBar) | 57% | 269 |
| #5 | Loki_Life | 56% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | [AiBot] Branch3s | 70% | 53 |
| #3 | [AiBot] Spellzzz | 69% | 115 |
| #4 | Methinane (BrokeSpaceBar) | 57% | 269 |
| #5 | Loki_Life | 56% | 39 |
| #6 | BL1TZ8URG | 46% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Methinane (BrokeSpaceBar) | 76 | 0.0148 |
| #2 | [AiBot] Spellzzz | 17 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Loki_Life | 6 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | [AiBot] Branch3s | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Bonk999 | 4 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Methinane (BrokeSpaceBar) | 943 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #2 | [AiBot] Branch3s | 166 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | [AiBot] Spellzzz | 65 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | BL1TZ8URG | 45 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Loki_Life | 35 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K1NG | +6.10 | 92 | 45 |
| #2 | [AiBot] Branch3s | +0.52 | 49 | 56 |
| #3 | Loki_Life | -0.12 | 72 | 51 |
| #4 | BL1TZ8URG | -0.65 | 53 | 42 |
| #5 | [AiBot] Spellzzz | -0.94 | 45 | 44 |





