










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1419 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 466 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5766 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,084 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7976 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4759 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5480 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3869 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,008,272 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1128 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOSS | 47% | 146 |
| #2 | JixxY | 46% | 137 |
| #3 | DerOberDude | 46% | 338 |
| #4 | 11MinutenGames | 45% | 75 |
| #5 | n a t e | 43% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DerOberDude | 23 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | BOSS | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | JixxY | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | 11MinutenGames | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Charles Spliffskowsky | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DerOberDude | 841 | 0.12 | 23 min |
| #2 | BOSS | 502 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #3 | 11MinutenGames | 209 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | JixxY | 196 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Charles Spliffskowsky | 166 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mcgamer | +1.13 | 81 | 70 |
| #2 | DerOberDude | +0.34 | 69 | 71 |
| #3 | BOSS | -0.51 | 64 | 75 |
| #4 | JixxY | -0.62 | 63 | 66 |
| #5 | 11MinutenGames | -1.05 | 60 | 58 |





