








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 497 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 216 matches | ||
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3492 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,479 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3666 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3495 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3081 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3237 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $722,784 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 226 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SIT DOWN- | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | PUMA D KINQ | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | Sc4rFac3 | 54% | 35 |
| #4 | BOSS | 54% | 98 |
| #5 | Charles Spliffskowsky | 49% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | diva.Y.J | 400 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| #2 | BOSS | 327 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | DerOberDude | 267 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | Mcgamer | 193 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | Charles Spliffskowsky | 152 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DerOberDude | +0.95 | 68 | 72 |
| #2 | Mcgamer | +0.75 | 85 | 70 |
| #3 | SIT DOWN- | +0.72 | 56 | 67 |
| #4 | n a t e | +0.61 | 60 | 59 |
| #5 | BOSS | +0.54 | 64 | 74 |





