








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 674 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1820 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,110 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1482 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1048 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2177 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 403 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $681,874 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 386 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ronnie Burns | 58% | 98 |
| #2 | fallenn | 58% | 66 |
| #3 | Kevin Malone | 56% | 113 |
| #4 | Jk^ | 55% | 105 |
| #5 | pLx | 53% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jk^ | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Kevin Malone | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Ronnie Burns | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ronnie Burns | 346 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | Kevin Malone | 141 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Jk^ | 92 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | fallenn | 53 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | pLx | 43 | 0.04 | 1 min |





