








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 638 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 149 matches | ||
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3904 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,927 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3729 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4161 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2772 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3265 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,320,663 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ska | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | fRESh | 55% | 55 |
| #3 | kk | 54% | 26 |
| #4 | Nickson | 50% | 48 |
| #5 | farmaG | 48% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Nickson | 50% | 48 |
| #5 | farmaG | 48% | 48 |
| #6 | G.Punkt | 45% | 22 |
| #7 | Scheoni | 43% | 21 |
| #8 | samsational 🦩 | 40% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | samsational 🦩 | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Nickson | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | fRESh | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | farmaG | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | G.Punkt | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fRESh | 373 | 0.31 | 11 min |
| #2 | farmaG | 349 | 0.34 | 10 min |
| #3 | Nickson | 161 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | kk | 103 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | G.Punkt | 93 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | farmaG | +3.56 | 86 | 72 |
| #2 | fRESh | +2.95 | 77 | 80 |
| #3 | Blizzii | +0.75 | 87 | 66 |
| #4 | G.Punkt | +0.13 | 73 | 63 |
| #5 | kk | -0.31 | 51 | 78 |





