








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 871 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4210 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,276 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7128 | 39% |
| Smokes | 4563 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2236 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 4349 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,228,359 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 651 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Barbe brune | 55% | 272 |
| #5 | SNAj | 54% | 290 |
| #6 | Drüss.. | 53% | 219 |
| #7 | Why_So_Serious | 52% | 133 |
| #8 | El Souf' | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kerox | 11 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | SNAj | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Barbe brune | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Lloyd | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Why_So_Serious | 5 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SNAj | 1323 | 0.22 | 36 min |
| #2 | Barbe brune | 1165 | 0.21 | 19 min |
| #3 | Lloyd | 691 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #4 | kerox | 597 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #5 | Why_So_Serious | 433 | 0.16 | 9 min |





