








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 931 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 216 matches | ||
| Faceit | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 103 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3831 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,991 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6273 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6306 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3502 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4910 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,387,565 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 803 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barbe brune | 12 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Drüss.. | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | basix | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Why_So_Serious | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | kerox | 7 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barbe brune | 1505 | 0.19 | 25 min |
| #2 | basix | 1092 | 0.18 | 27 min |
| #3 | Lloyd | 827 | 0.20 | 23 min |
| #4 | Why_So_Serious | 623 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #5 | kerox | 477 | 0.18 | 14 min |





