








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 66 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1488 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,965 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2856 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2006 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1339 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1764 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $367,633 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IseeUdere | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | Viv | 56% | 45 |
| #3 | GP ❤︎ Crashout Queen | 52% | 44 |
| #4 | Valkenn | 52% | 54 |
| #5 | MamaAlien | 51% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boocard | 7 | 0.0139 |
| #2 | ADK | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Viv | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | MamaAlien | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Valkenn | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ADK | 284 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | Krissy | 258 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | Kimmy | 210 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #4 | MamaAlien | 194 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | Viv | 179 | 0.19 | 4 min |





