








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
466 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,023 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 718 | 35% |
| Smokes | 534 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 372 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 399 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $312,833 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZEY | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | IseeUdere | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | Viv | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | MamaAlien | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | GP ❤︎ Crashout Queen | 56% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Boocard | 50% | 10 |
| #10 | ADK | 39% | 49 |
| #11 | Kimmy | 38% | 21 |
| #12 | Krissy | 27% | 22 |
| #13 | Catie | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ADK | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | bébite | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | GP ❤︎ Crashout Queen | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Viv | 1 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | IseeUdere | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bébite | 273 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #2 | ADK | 138 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Kimmy | 112 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #4 | Krissy | 96 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | Viv | 78 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sarah | +4.12 | 90 | 12 |
| #2 | IseeUdere | +3.29 | 72 | 74 |
| #3 | ADK | +2.14 | 78 | 61 |
| #4 | Boocard | +1.19 | 70 | 68 |
| #5 | bébite | +1.15 | 58 | 71 |





