








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 244 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 187 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2626 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,935 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1443 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1209 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1943 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1340 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,557,269 of utility $248 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 339 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | HiT | 47% | 17 |
| #9 | Virtual_Omega | 44% | 18 |
| #10 | KlouD | 43% | 21 |
| #11 | S4rOu | 42% | 59 |
| #12 | [AAEEG] Triple_ℛ︎_ | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [AAEEG] LastFlam | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | S4rOu | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | [FR] Mael27 | 3 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | KlouD | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | HiT | 2 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jowan Suleiman | 284 | 0.36 | 7 min |
| #2 | S4rOu | 171 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | [AAEEG] Triple_ℛ︎_ | 93 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | KlouD | 72 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | [AAEEG] LastFlam | 55 | 0.06 | 1 min |





