








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
652 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,526 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 363 | 14% |
| Smokes | 783 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 626 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 754 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $347,939 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cjb | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | katalyst der Gott | 82% | 11 |
| #3 | bo0seurs | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | PzMuffin | 57% | 67 |
| #5 | sideSWIPE | 57% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | PzMuffin | 57% | 67 |
| #5 | sideSWIPE | 57% | 30 |
| #6 | karn1vore | 50% | 6 |
| #7 | Mr. Chillington | 50% | 12 |
| #8 | adept | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PzMuffin | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | sideSWIPE | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | cjb | 1 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PzMuffin | 205 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | sideSWIPE | 90 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Mr. Chillington | 36 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | karn1vore | 30 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | katalyst der Gott | 28 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cjb | +6.93 | 89 | 69 |
| #2 | sideSWIPE | +2.32 | 90 | 64 |
| #3 | adept | +1.84 | 77 | 66 |
| #4 | PzMuffin | +1.67 | 87 | 65 |
| #5 | karn1vore | +1.51 | 84 | 67 |





