








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 996 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 363 matches | ||
| Premier | 203 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7171 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,968 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4817 | 22% |
| Smokes | 6228 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5956 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4967 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,644,607 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 444 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ramuss | 70% | 169 |
| #2 | GRIM | 66% | 85 |
| #3 | Kj- | 65% | 34 |
| #4 | yor1mato | 64% | 129 |
| #5 | sharplikebutter | 61% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Simon | 58% | 155 |
| #8 | sokjin | 54% | 39 |
| #9 | ABSOLUTE COMEDY | 54% | 108 |
| #10 | iceman | 53% | 75 |
| #11 | aliStair | 53% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ramuss | 11 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Simon | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | yor1mato | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | genesis | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | iceman | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yor1mato | 575 | 0.21 | 20 min |
| #2 | Simon | 501 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #3 | ABSOLUTE COMEDY | 423 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #4 | ramuss | 404 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #5 | iceman | 228 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aliStair | +4.02 | 95 | 71 |
| #2 | genesis | +2.03 | 94 | 58 |
| #3 | ABSOLUTE COMEDY | +1.96 | 79 | 77 |
| #4 | ._. | +1.72 | 79 | 67 |
| #5 | yor1mato | +1.64 | 79 | 84 |





