








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 266 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2320 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,488 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1728 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1644 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2148 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1968 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $625,402 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ed camper | 55% | 64 |
| #2 | Taddis | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | Jøss | 50% | 130 |
| #4 | The Dude Abides | 49% | 125 |
| #5 | Weebu | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Taddis | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | Jøss | 50% | 130 |
| #4 | The Dude Abides | 49% | 125 |
| #5 | Weebu | 42% | 12 |
| #6 | m1ddle | 41% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jøss | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | The Dude Abides | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | ed camper | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | m1ddle | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Taddis | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jøss | 551 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #2 | The Dude Abides | 237 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | ed camper | 149 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | m1ddle | 82 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Weebu | 30 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ase45bgwase45 | +2.55 | 75 | 67 |
| #2 | ed camper | +1.42 | 67 | 68 |
| #3 | m1ddle | -0.53 | 59 | 58 |
| #4 | Jøss | -1.74 | 48 | 64 |
| #5 | The Dude Abides | -2.45 | 31 | 56 |





