








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 71 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
518 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,448 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 420 | 29% |
| Smokes | 496 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 347 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 185 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $170,143 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taddis | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Jøss | 42% | 38 |
| #3 | ase45bgwase45 | 41% | 63 |
| #4 | The Dude Abides | 41% | 39 |
| #5 | ed camper | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taddis | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Jøss | 42% | 38 |
| #3 | ase45bgwase45 | 41% | 63 |
| #4 | The Dude Abides | 41% | 39 |
| #5 | ed camper | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ase45bgwase45 | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | The Dude Abides | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Jøss | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jøss | 163 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | ase45bgwase45 | 145 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | The Dude Abides | 88 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | ed camper | 18 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #5 | Taddis | 5 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ase45bgwase45 | +2.08 | 78 | 66 |
| #2 | ed camper | +0.14 | 67 | 54 |
| #3 | m1ddle | -0.46 | 59 | 58 |
| #4 | Jøss | -0.97 | 49 | 65 |
| #5 | The Dude Abides | -1.35 | 33 | 54 |





