








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 720 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 554 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6849 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,713 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7209 | 28% |
| Smokes | 6697 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7165 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4642 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,505,032 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 304 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Cid | 48% | 48 |
| #7 | haTe | 45% | 259 |
| #8 | panni | 44% | 63 |
| #9 | Killtec | 43% | 40 |
| #10 | Hellion | 37% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s3uche | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | haTe | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Hellion | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | brokenaim | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | onehit | 3 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s3uche | 812 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #2 | haTe | 669 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #3 | Cid | 129 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Killtec | 119 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | onehit | 115 | 0.16 | 3 min |





