








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1724 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,222 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1081 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1422 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1577 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1142 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $557,044 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 209 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nix | 58% | 48 |
| #2 | B1ERMAN | 57% | 47 |
| #3 | Waters | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | Toaster | 55% | 31 |
| #5 | Grape Denim | 50% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grape Denim | +2.85 | 66 | 71 |
| #2 | Nix | +2.29 | 81 | 70 |
| #3 | MayØr ⓛⓞⓥⓔ | +1.46 | 65 | 56 |
| #4 | sw1zz | +1.06 | 60 | 77 |
| #5 | frehulferd | +0.68 | 56 | 61 |





