








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 265 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 186 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2937 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,302 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1540 | 12% |
| Smokes | 5051 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 3113 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3598 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,298,683 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jLawler | 520 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #2 | Waters | 509 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #3 | sw1zz | 417 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #4 | bennY. | 255 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | .LOU | 195 | 0.19 | 4 min |





