








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 412 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 246 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3079 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,402 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2711 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3125 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2678 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2888 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,203,639 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gege | 59% | 39 |
| #2 | gaslipstick | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | RUDY[u_u] | 53% | 226 |
| #4 | GUUGGELI | 52% | 263 |
| #5 | pwder | 51% | 240 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | RUDY[u_u] | 53% | 226 |
| #4 | GUUGGELI | 52% | 263 |
| #5 | pwder | 51% | 240 |
| #6 | LIVONE | 51% | 242 |
| #7 | TÖRPPÖ | 40% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RUDY[u_u] | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | LIVONE | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | GUUGGELI | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | pwder | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | gege | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LIVONE | 1256 | 0.24 | 31 min |
| #2 | GUUGGELI | 933 | 0.16 | 25 min |
| #3 | pwder | 629 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #4 | RUDY[u_u] | 621 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #5 | TÖRPPÖ | 144 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gaslipstick | +1.36 | 85 | 83 |
| #2 | pwder | +0.67 | 78 | 69 |
| #3 | El Osmo | +0.59 | 77 | 64 |
| #4 | RUDY[u_u] | +0.33 | 73 | 66 |
| #5 | GUUGGELI | -0.02 | 80 | 70 |





