








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 686 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 258 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3110 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,275 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4261 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3995 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2692 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3327 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $809,908 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 324 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gege | 55% | 40 |
| #2 | RUDY[u_u] | 53% | 219 |
| #3 | gaslipstick | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | El Osmo | 52% | 263 |
| #5 | LIVONE | 52% | 253 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | gaslipstick | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | El Osmo | 52% | 263 |
| #5 | LIVONE | 52% | 253 |
| #6 | pwder | 51% | 237 |
| #7 | TÖRPPÖ | 41% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RUDY[u_u] | 11 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | LIVONE | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | El Osmo | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | pwder | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | TÖRPPÖ | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LIVONE | 1319 | 0.24 | 33 min |
| #2 | El Osmo | 681 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #3 | pwder | 613 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #4 | RUDY[u_u] | 605 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #5 | TÖRPPÖ | 123 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gaslipstick | +0.96 | 77 | 79 |
| #2 | pwder | +0.91 | 78 | 70 |
| #3 | RUDY[u_u] | +0.34 | 73 | 67 |
| #4 | GUUGGELI | +0.28 | 80 | 70 |
| #5 | El Osmo | +0.16 | 77 | 64 |





