








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 680 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 257 matches | ||
| Esplay | 59 matches | 1,990 | |
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4012 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,114 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4624 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4230 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5298 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4962 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,092,630 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 224 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NisseFrø- *NoScopeGlasses | 72% | 47 |
| #2 | k0nabear | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | Jungle Jonas | 57% | 40 |
| #4 | Soulthy | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | BreMathias | 56% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | .broliverxd | 45% | 103 |
| #15 | Hugh | 43% | 46 |
| #16 | Thu | 43% | 30 |
| #17 | Gunn1s♀❤ | 43% | 81 |
| #18 | SJUR | 25% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lundinho | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | .broliverxd | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Jungle Jonas | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | .s | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | VeggTinsel | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lundinho | 535 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #2 | .s | 360 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #3 | .broliverxd | 294 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | k0nabear | 208 | 0.31 | 6 min |
| #5 | Jungle Jonas | 206 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0nabear | +4.09 | 80 | 81 |
| #2 | Thu | +4.05 | 89 | 60 |
| #3 | NisseFrø- *NoScopeGlasses | +3.66 | 72 | 71 |
| #4 | Hugh | +2.26 | 73 | 69 |
| #5 | Jungle Jonas | +1.20 | 65 | 71 |





