








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
501 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,878 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 476 | 25% |
| Smokes | 490 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 419 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 493 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $378,669 of utility $241 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᖫAlexᖭ≧◉◡◉≦ | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | JohnDaly | 50% | 20 |
| #3 | ⭕⃤ | 47% | 36 |
| #4 | Jonnajules | 45% | 33 |
| #5 | Jaajoo | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Jonnajules | 45% | 33 |
| #5 | Jaajoo | 40% | 25 |
| #6 | P1wDr3ng | 38% | 48 |
| #7 | Doggo #1 | 25% | 4 |
| #8 | Raúl | 11% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P1wDr3ng | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | JohnDaly | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⭕⃤ | 273 | 0.35 | 10 min |
| #2 | Jonnajules | 176 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #3 | P1wDr3ng | 116 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Jaajoo | 83 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | ᖫAlexᖭ≧◉◡◉≦ | 67 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᖫAlexᖭ≧◉◡◉≦ | +3.98 | 75 | 75 |
| #2 | ⭕⃤ | +2.19 | 59 | 82 |
| #3 | Raúl | +0.92 | 72 | 66 |
| #4 | Jaajoo | +0.16 | 68 | 74 |
| #5 | Doggo #1 | -0.02 | 48 | 62 |





