








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 680 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 347 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3966 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,889 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7811 | 36% |
| Smokes | 5565 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5425 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3088 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $835,735 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1322 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asska | 60% | 35 |
| #2 | Malibu I♿I⛟I♿I⛟I♿I⛟ | 54% | 39 |
| #3 | ★ jOe | 53% | 75 |
| #4 | Doo3ie | 50% | 56 |
| #5 | brh1 | 50% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brh1 | 318 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | ★ jOe | 197 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Doo3ie | 190 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | crito | 189 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #5 | timone | 169 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wellub0y | +1.77 | 71 | 76 |
| #2 | ★ jOe | +1.70 | 79 | 75 |
| #3 | Malibu I♿I⛟I♿I⛟I♿I⛟ | +1.44 | 67 | 65 |
| #4 | timone | +1.13 | 47 | 72 |
| #5 | Asska | +1.02 | 49 | 73 |





