










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 648 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2899 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,939 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3320 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2473 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1325 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1821 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $479,415 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 243 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cjack | 84% | 25 |
| #2 | -*The Last Bullet Monk*_ 👑 | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | Secret Agent | 60% | 25 |
| #4 | Elevate | 57% | 40 |
| #5 | Fear&Loathing | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cjack | 84% | 25 |
| #2 | -*The Last Bullet Monk*_ 👑 | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | Secret Agent | 60% | 25 |
| #4 | Elevate | 57% | 40 |
| #5 | Fear&Loathing | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cjack | 6 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | Elevate | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Fear&Loathing | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Secret Agent | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Secret Agent | 143 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #2 | Fear&Loathing | 90 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Elevate | 64 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | cjack | 49 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | -*The Last Bullet Monk*_ 👑 | 46 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kobruh | +3.83 | 88 | 68 |
| #2 | -*The Last Bullet Monk*_ 👑 | +2.15 | 80 | 68 |
| #3 | cjack | +2.03 | 79 | 45 |
| #4 | Elevate | -1.00 | 58 | 55 |
| #5 | Secret Agent | -1.61 | 57 | 76 |





