








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 272 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2083 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,146 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1624 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3392 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 1534 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1596 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,096,074 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 93 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Invokeru | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | theeBuffalo | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | MZW | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Treaux_ | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Major_Waddles | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Efren | 523 | 0.28 | 16 min |
| #2 | Invokeru | 329 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | J4ckyD | 292 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #4 | theeBuffalo | 262 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | MZW | 234 | 0.11 | 6 min |





