








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 57 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
794 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 218 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 65 | 30% |
| Smokes | 49 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 88 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 16 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $98,231 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MysticDuck | 89% | 9 |
| #2 | Commodore | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | sighlar | 67% | 12 |
| #4 | IO | 64% | 11 |
| #5 | Annie | 63% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | IO | 64% | 11 |
| #5 | Annie | 63% | 16 |
| #6 | Scruff | 62% | 58 |
| #7 | IOExceptional | 56% | 9 |
| #8 | scully | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scruff | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | IO | 2 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | IOExceptional | 1 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Commodore | 1 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IO | 81 | 0.36 | 2 min |
| #2 | Scruff | 58 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | IOExceptional | 53 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #4 | sighlar | 32 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Annie | 23 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Commodore | +2.58 | 53 | 45 |
| #2 | MysticDuck | +2.22 | 75 | 62 |
| #3 | Scruff | +1.66 | 79 | 53 |
| #4 | sighlar | +1.47 | 92 | 51 |
| #5 | Spicy Pho | +1.05 | 86 | 14 |





