








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 138 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1329 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,163 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 885 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1084 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1076 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1118 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $385,022 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツ | 71% | 45 |
| #2 | jjjjjjj | 63% | 81 |
| #3 | Dirty Dan | 63% | 62 |
| #4 | peezyy ツ | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | IcE | 58% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | IcE | 58% | 31 |
| #6 | apo | 58% | 93 |
| #7 | Basti | 56% | 80 |
| #8 | beachmaster | 45% | 11 |
| #9 | [lille] | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Basti | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | ツ | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | apo | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | jjjjjjj | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Dirty Dan | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jjjjjjj | 324 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | apo | 215 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Basti | 77 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | peezyy ツ | 57 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | beachmaster | 42 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jjjjjjj | +5.10 | 78 | 81 |
| #2 | peezyy ツ | +3.09 | 69 | 69 |
| #3 | apo | +1.62 | 36 | 66 |
| #4 | beachmaster | +0.30 | 54 | 70 |
| #5 | kalsarikännit | -0.09 | 66 | 59 |





