








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 103 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2168 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,515 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2835 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2812 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2884 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1984 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $499,629 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツ | 66% | 50 |
| #2 | kalsarikännit | 58% | 93 |
| #3 | jjjjjjj | 55% | 157 |
| #4 | peezyy ツ | 54% | 24 |
| #5 | Basti | 52% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Basti | 52% | 126 |
| #6 | Dirty Dan | 49% | 129 |
| #7 | beachmaster | 47% | 17 |
| #8 | IcE | 44% | 78 |
| #9 | Örgendwie | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Basti | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | jjjjjjj | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | peezyy ツ | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Dirty Dan | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | ツ | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jjjjjjj | 564 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #2 | kalsarikännit | 124 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Dirty Dan | 113 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Basti | 109 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | peezyy ツ | 81 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jjjjjjj | +4.47 | 78 | 77 |
| #2 | peezyy ツ | +2.43 | 64 | 71 |
| #3 | apo | +0.67 | 36 | 67 |
| #4 | kalsarikännit | -0.14 | 64 | 60 |
| #5 | beachmaster | -0.35 | 43 | 66 |





