








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 227 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1980 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,159 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1283 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2468 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3024 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1384 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $855,453 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 196 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wally | 57% | 47 |
| #2 | Mr. Pink | 57% | 42 |
| #3 | animus | 52% | 168 |
| #4 | tomskeeZ | 52% | 107 |
| #5 | cork | 51% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | animus | 52% | 168 |
| #4 | tomskeeZ | 52% | 107 |
| #5 | cork | 51% | 148 |
| #6 | FalcoN' | 49% | 192 |
| #7 | --Gr3g-- | 49% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | animus | 20 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | --Gr3g-- | 11 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | FalcoN' | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | cork | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Mr. Pink | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | animus | 898 | 0.25 | 25 min |
| #2 | FalcoN' | 800 | 0.19 | 22 min |
| #3 | --Gr3g-- | 407 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | tomskeeZ | 268 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | cork | 162 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | animus | +4.63 | 77 | 70 |
| #2 | wally | +1.03 | 74 | 65 |
| #3 | FalcoN' | +0.59 | 57 | 70 |
| #4 | Mr. Pink | +0.39 | 71 | 65 |
| #5 | tomskeeZ | +0.13 | 70 | 67 |





