








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2714 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,868 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1604 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2160 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2427 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1677 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $908,492 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 177 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brakker* | 51% | 148 |
| #2 | Mr. Pink | 50% | 40 |
| #3 | --Gr3g-- | 49% | 99 |
| #4 | tomskeeZ | 47% | 93 |
| #5 | animus | 47% | 184 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | --Gr3g-- | 49% | 99 |
| #4 | tomskeeZ | 47% | 93 |
| #5 | animus | 47% | 184 |
| #6 | FalcoN' | 46% | 234 |
| #7 | wally | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | animus | 20 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | FalcoN' | 11 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | --Gr3g-- | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | brakker* | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | tomskeeZ | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FalcoN' | 1025 | 0.20 | 28 min |
| #2 | animus | 992 | 0.25 | 28 min |
| #3 | --Gr3g-- | 311 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | tomskeeZ | 230 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | brakker* | 212 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | animus | +4.58 | 77 | 70 |
| #2 | FalcoN' | +0.64 | 60 | 71 |
| #3 | wally | -0.24 | 71 | 63 |
| #4 | tomskeeZ | -0.29 | 65 | 65 |
| #5 | cork | -0.57 | 64 | 57 |





