








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
878 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,826 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 915 | 32% |
| Smokes | 438 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1013 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 460 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $240,997 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 196 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deLay | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | h3iki | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | pipes | 60% | 45 |
| #4 | AndyR | 57% | 46 |
| #5 | WezzNCo @ Eating Eggs | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | h3iki | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | pipes | 60% | 45 |
| #4 | AndyR | 57% | 46 |
| #5 | WezzNCo @ Eating Eggs | 43% | 37 |
| #6 | KayZ | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AndyR | 8 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | WezzNCo @ Eating Eggs | 7 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | pipes | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | deLay | 4 | 0.0204 |
| #5 | h3iki | 2 | 0.0099 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AndyR | 117 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | pipes | 95 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | WezzNCo @ Eating Eggs | 49 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | deLay | 14 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | h3iki | 8 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pipes | +1.70 | 73 | 61 |
| #2 | deLay | +1.37 | 76 | 38 |
| #3 | AndyR | +0.96 | 59 | 57 |
| #4 | pauLiou- | +0.50 | 81 | 68 |
| #5 | h3iki | -0.33 | 24 | 60 |





