










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank |
|---|
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
74 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 184 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 27 | 15% |
| Smokes | 39 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 66 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 52 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $31,844 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deLay | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | pauLiou- | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | WezzNCo @ Eating Eggs | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | AndyR | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | pipes | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deLay | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | pauLiou- | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | WezzNCo @ Eating Eggs | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | AndyR | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | pipes | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AndyR | 5 | 0.0248 |
| #2 | WezzNCo @ Eating Eggs | 2 | 0.0099 |
| #3 | pipes | 2 | 0.0142 |
| #4 | deLay | 2 | 0.0328 |
| #5 | pauLiou- | 1 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pauLiou- | 30 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #2 | AndyR | 28 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | pipes | 23 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | WezzNCo @ Eating Eggs | 15 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | deLay | 2 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AndyR | +2.71 | 54 | 55 |
| #2 | pipes | +2.70 | 77 | 64 |
| #3 | pauLiou- | +1.41 | 76 | 68 |
| #4 | h3iki | -0.33 | 24 | 60 |
| #5 | deLay | -1.82 | 59 | 39 |





