








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 421 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Esplay | 3 matches | 1,906 | |
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
988 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,796 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 441 | 16% |
| Smokes | 652 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 937 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 766 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $556,487 of utility $253 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 227 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k-RONK | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | sked | 80% | 10 |
| #3 | Saltgurkan | 73% | 11 |
| #4 | TheOddKiwi | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | fröken TG | 67% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fader Nisl | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | fröken TG | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | EloliPoP | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | narki | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | OTTER | 1 | 0.0034 |





