








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 424 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1083 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,583 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1310 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1140 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1061 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1072 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $622,032 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 217 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gepasi | 68% | 31 |
| #2 | bERNTSEEN | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | S0lid^ | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | skogsturken | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | SolaN | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | bERNTSEEN | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | S0lid^ | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | skogsturken | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | SolaN | 45% | 11 |
| #6 | ÆSPÆÆÆÆÆN | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gepasi | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | ÆSPÆÆÆÆÆN | 1 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gepasi | 110 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | bERNTSEEN | 59 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | SolaN | 38 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | S0lid^ | 31 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | ÆSPÆÆÆÆÆN | 27 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gepasi | +3.92 | 86 | 69 |
| #2 | S0lid^ | +2.56 | 81 | 75 |
| #3 | bERNTSEEN | +1.18 | 84 | 72 |
| #4 | Nupi | +0.89 | 72 | 67 |
| #5 | ÆSPÆÆÆÆÆN | +0.09 | 88 | 60 |





