








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 41 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4726 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,187 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3412 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3295 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2585 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2895 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,426,388 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 128 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CalaxyOGizzle | 57% | 61 |
| #2 | wonder | 57% | 53 |
| #3 | 1llusion | 53% | 47 |
| #4 | franKѠッ | 48% | 190 |
| #5 | DivineSapphire | 46% | 229 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | wonder | 57% | 53 |
| #3 | 1llusion | 53% | 47 |
| #4 | franKѠッ | 48% | 190 |
| #5 | DivineSapphire | 46% | 229 |
| #6 | John Fartbuckle | 37% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DivineSapphire | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | franKѠッ | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | John Fartbuckle | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | wonder | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | CalaxyOGizzle | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | franKѠッ | 1139 | 0.30 | 28 min |
| #2 | John Fartbuckle | 255 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #3 | CalaxyOGizzle | 193 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | wonder | 70 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | 1llusion | 23 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yungNUT | +5.06 | 72 | 62 |
| #2 | CalaxyOGizzle | +4.38 | 82 | 57 |
| #3 | wonder | +0.74 | 59 | 35 |
| #4 | franKѠッ | -0.48 | 59 | 61 |
| #5 | 1llusion | -1.66 | 46 | 16 |





