








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 330 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1296 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,692 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1578 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1568 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1237 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1309 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $536,951 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 151 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baum1996 | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | SaberR | 52% | 61 |
| #3 | MacMasel | 49% | 123 |
| #4 | Carolina Reaper | 48% | 33 |
| #5 | schnick schnack | 48% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Carolina Reaper | 48% | 33 |
| #5 | schnick schnack | 48% | 135 |
| #6 | Its Felikz | 47% | 59 |
| #7 | Niko | 42% | 43 |
| #8 | ♛.baka^ | 13% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schnick schnack | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | MacMasel | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | SaberR | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Its Felikz | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Niko | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MacMasel | 263 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | Its Felikz | 214 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | schnick schnack | 201 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | SaberR | 120 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Niko | 85 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schnick schnack | +2.67 | 70 | 47 |
| #2 | baum1996 | +2.03 | 71 | 72 |
| #3 | MacMasel | +1.06 | 66 | 63 |
| #4 | SaberR | -0.43 | 59 | 68 |
| #5 | Niko | -0.67 | 59 | 63 |





