








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 879 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 462 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4865 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,277 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4846 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5979 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4929 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3523 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,529,020 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schnick schnack | 56% | 94 |
| #2 | Its Felikz | 54% | 54 |
| #3 | MacMasel | 53% | 116 |
| #4 | FluMMz | 52% | 61 |
| #5 | Niko | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schnick schnack | 56% | 94 |
| #2 | Its Felikz | 54% | 54 |
| #3 | MacMasel | 53% | 116 |
| #4 | FluMMz | 52% | 61 |
| #5 | Niko | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MacMasel | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | FluMMz | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | schnick schnack | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Niko | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MacMasel | 261 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | FluMMz | 261 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #3 | Its Felikz | 205 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | schnick schnack | 195 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Niko | 57 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schnick schnack | +2.20 | 73 | 52 |
| #2 | MacMasel | +1.16 | 63 | 66 |
| #3 | SaberR | +0.58 | 64 | 71 |
| #4 | Its Felikz | -0.95 | 64 | 71 |
| #5 | FluMMz | -1.32 | 41 | 66 |





