








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2137 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1154 matches | ||
| Wingman | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 1200 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




131 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10294 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 79,888 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 22295 | 28% |
| Smokes | 22044 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 17753 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 17796 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,832,017 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1634 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Tp:B] n0_aim | havana | 18 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Stajfhard van SchwФnsen | 18 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Noob | 17 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | [Tp:B] Rox aim lost | Maik | 13 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | [Tp:B] zEns | 12 | 0.0033 |





