








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 682 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 754 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7136 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,451 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3007 | 14% |
| Smokes | 6746 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 7606 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 4092 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,462,737 of utility $273 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 246 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | bl1nkY 2. ed. | 46% | 63 |
| #7 | [Tp:B] n0_aim | havana | 46% | 83 |
| #8 | [Tp:B] Lalala | 45% | 107 |
| #9 | [Tp:B] Pharaun | Bernd | 44% | 327 |
| #10 | ☉Ȥ* | 39% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Tp:B] Pharaun | Bernd | 1365 | 0.20 | 35 min |
| #2 | [Tp:B] Lalala | 206 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | -We§e*** | 126 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | ☉Ȥ* | 85 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | [Tp:B] n0_aim | havana | 75 | 0.04 | 2 min |





