








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 766 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 367 matches | ||
| Wingman | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 254 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5154 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,747 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2477 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2972 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4726 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4572 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,986,213 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 336 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | egge | 42% | 119 |
| #9 | [Tp:B] Boelli | hat -ZoRn- | 42% | 62 |
| #10 | [Tp:B] Hyperion | 41% | 37 |
| #11 | Noob | 40% | 62 |
| #12 | [Tp:B] Lalala | 39% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Tp:B] Pharaun | Bernd | 26 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Stajfhard van SchwФnsen | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | [Tp:B] Rox aim lost | Maik | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | [Tp:B] Boelli | hat -ZoRn- | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | f(x)=ln(nutaro) | 4 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Tp:B] Pharaun | Bernd | 1279 | 0.17 | 32 min |
| #2 | egge | 297 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | -We§e*** | 247 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | Stajfhard van SchwФnsen | 189 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | [Tp:B] Hyperion | 90 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Tp:B] n0_aim | havana | +1.93 | 59 | 52 |
| #2 | -We§e*** | +1.15 | 73 | 67 |
| #3 | egge | +0.49 | 62 | 74 |
| #4 | Stajfhard van SchwФnsen | +0.22 | 32 | 66 |
| #5 | f(x)=ln(nutaro) | -0.87 | 20 | 45 |





