








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 248 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 229 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2650 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,113 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2157 | 16% |
| Smokes | 4149 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3451 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3356 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $602,496 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doomhax | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | Teacha101 | 59% | 39 |
| #3 | hOlm | 56% | 66 |
| #4 | SeNsYg | 51% | 76 |
| #5 | McNugel | 44% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Teacha101 | 59% | 39 |
| #3 | hOlm | 56% | 66 |
| #4 | SeNsYg | 51% | 76 |
| #5 | McNugel | 44% | 54 |
| #6 | JYDEN | 44% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SeNsYg | 7 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | JYDEN | 7 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | McNugel | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McNugel | 287 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| #2 | Teacha101 | 98 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | SeNsYg | 67 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | JYDEN | 51 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Doomhax | 41 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doomhax | +2.28 | 78 | 69 |
| #2 | McNugel | +1.39 | 44 | 84 |
| #3 | hOlm | +1.39 | 62 | 52 |
| #4 | SeNsYg | +0.76 | 54 | 51 |
| #5 | Freggi | +0.46 | 45 | 69 |





