








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 188 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1357 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,897 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 716 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1157 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1274 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 750 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $399,527 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 255 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MSTF | 52% | 25 |
| #2 | OdenS | 52% | 25 |
| #3 | Bose | 49% | 39 |
| #4 | ✪ klit :PpPpP | 48% | 23 |
| #5 | Papapoosy | 47% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | EggRt | 47% | 124 |
| #7 | Loco | 46% | 13 |
| #8 | skk^ | 46% | 70 |
| #9 | IceFrozen | 45% | 44 |
| #10 | ✪ TRILLEBØRRE | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papapoosy | 18 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | skk^ | 11 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | IceFrozen | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Loco | 5 | 0.0187 |
| #5 | EggRt | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papapoosy | 572 | 0.25 | 15 min |
| #2 | skk^ | 375 | 0.26 | 13 min |
| #3 | EggRt | 333 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | MSTF | 110 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | ✪ klit :PpPpP | 50 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skk^ | +4.42 | 88 | 85 |
| #2 | Loco | +3.08 | 84 | 57 |
| #3 | MSTF | +2.89 | 73 | 66 |
| #4 | OdenS | +1.78 | 74 | 69 |
| #5 | ✪ klit :PpPpP | +1.47 | 75 | 65 |





