








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 724 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 264 matches | ||
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Esplay | 62 matches | 2,131 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7495 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,117 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7165 | 26% |
| Smokes | 7064 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6188 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6700 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,048,757 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nilsen | 68% | 40 |
| #2 | Tore | 65% | 74 |
| #3 | MintCoder | 63% | 59 |
| #4 | bettan | 60% | 43 |
| #5 | zenna | 60% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tore | 571 | 0.36 | 17 min |
| #2 | re | 241 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | zenna | 193 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | MintCoder | 176 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | bettan | 132 | 0.14 | 4 min |





