








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 174 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
805 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,290 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 629 | 27% |
| Smokes | 430 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 545 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 686 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $297,850 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Zockerschnegge | 51% | 67 |
| #11 | ekko | 50% | 16 |
| #12 | Bartmac | 44% | 9 |
| #13 | duffed | 40% | 5 |
| #14 | d-g0 | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hArDiiii x[ | 2 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | d-g0 | 2 | 0.0114 |
| #3 | a_tergo3k | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | ekko | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Helo | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zockerschnegge | 118 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | hArDiiii x[ | 68 | 0.35 | 2 min |
| #3 | Helo | 56 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | a_tergo3k | 53 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | fakeskuH | 51 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helo | +3.81 | 82 | 76 |
| #2 | duffed | +3.76 | 64 | 77 |
| #3 | fakeskuH | +2.94 | 69 | 89 |
| #4 | hArDiiii x[ | +2.83 | 87 | 72 |
| #5 | ekko | +2.49 | 69 | 74 |





